Tribute To Matt Stone Essay Research Paper — страница 5

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it’s Scott. Phillip:Tell him he’s a smelly bastard. Terrance:Phillip says ‘hello’ Scott. Scott:Just shut up and listen. You’ve unleashed a monster unto Canada and only you can get rid of him, even though I hate you and I wish you had cancer. Terrance:You are such a dick Scott. Scott:You’re a dick. Terrance:You’re a dick. Scott:You’re a dick. Terrance:You’re a dick. Scott:You’re a dick. Terrance:You’re a dick. [Silence] Scott:You’re a dick. Terrance:You’re a dick. Scott:The two of you are the most annoying dicks in Canada. You give other Canadians a bad name, and if I had my way…. Terrance:Oh, I’m sorry Scott, can you hold on a minute? [Fart] [Laughter] Terrance:How do you like that Scott? Scott:You son of a bitch, I’ll get you if it’s the last

thing I…. Terrance:Oh wait, I have another call Scott. Can you hang on? Scott:Sure. [Fart] Terrance:Oh, that was very smelly. He says hello. Scott:God damn it. Terrance:Oh, wait a second Scott. Scott:Sure. I mean no. You listen to me, if you want to save Canada you’ll meet me at Karl’s Kroff Dinner restaurant in half-an-hour. [Celine Dion's House - 4:07 P.M.] Ugly Bob and Celine Dion are lying in bed. Celine Dion:Oh Ugly Bob, I’m so confused. I love your personality, but you are so wretchedly ugly. Ugly Bob:Maybe the baby will have your face instead of mine. Celine Dion:We can only hope. I suppose we’ll be ok as long as you keep that bag on your head. Some Iraqis barge into Celine’s house. Celine Dion:What’s this?!? Saddam:Hey there, my name’s Saddam. I’m a big

fan of polo. I’ve been searching a long time for you Celine Dion. Ugly Bob:Oh no you don’t, she’s my bitch. Saddam:Hey, who are you? Ugly Bob:I’m Bob, but my friends call me Ugly Bob because I have the features of a deformed burn victim. Saddam:Really, I thought all Candians looked alike. Let me see. Ugly Bob removes the bag. [Screams] Saddam:Wow, I’m sorry guy. You know, I could cure that face of yours. Ugly Bob:You could? Saddam:Sure, I just need a favor. There’s a Candian football game tomorrow; the Ottawa Rough-Riders against the Vancouver Roughriders. It’s at that game that I will officialy turn the Candian flag over to my Iranian one. Celine Dion:What?!? Why?!? Saddam:Hey, don’t worry about that. Take a load off. Don’t think about it. Look over here.

Saddam points to a wall. Saddam:All I need is for Celine Dion to sing our Iranian national anthem at the game, to finalize my hostile takeover of Canada. Whaddaya say? Ugly Bob:Did you say ‘hostile takeover of Canada?’ Saddam:No, no, relax there fella. Celine Dion replaces the bag on Ugly Bob’s head. [Karl's Kroff Dinner Palace - 4:36 P.M.] Terrance:Well, Scott said to meet him here, but he’s not showing up. [Fart] [Laughter] Terrance:Oh no. Phillip:Well, while we’re waiting, why don’t we search for treasure? Terrance:Oh, good idea. Let’s search for treasure. Terrance and Phillip begin looking about. Scott:What are you idiot’s doing? Terrance:We’re looking for treasure. Scott:Is that some kind of metaphor for a kind of search that can’t be described?

Phillip:No, we’re searching for treasure. Scott:Listen, I have an inside scoop. There’s an Iraqi dictator who is quietly and slowly taking over Canada. Terrance:Yes, you mean Saddam Smelly. We saw him on the telly. Scott:Well, what are you two going to do aboot it? Phillip:What do you mean? Scott:It’s your fault that he’s here. You brought the Iraqis back with you on your plane, when you rescued your kidnapped daughter. [Gasp] Phillip:You mean we are to blame? Scott:That’s right, and now you must make amends. Tomorrow, Saddam will try to finalize his takeover of Canada at the Rough-Riders Roughriders game. It will be your only shot at wiping them all out. Here, take this. Phillip:What is this? Scott:It’s a bomb. You must strap it to yourselves, go to the game and

sacrifice your lives to take out Saddam’s minions. Terrance:That sounds scary. Scott:Well, you must do it for Canada. Phillip:For Canada Terrance. Terance:For Canada Phillip. Terrance and Phillip walk away with the bomb in hand. Scott:Yes Terrance and Phillip, and when the dust is settled Canada will be rid of both the Iraqis and your immature fart humor. [Commercial] [Terrance and Phillip's House - 12:20 P.M.] Terrance:Well, Phillip, I’m very sad that we have to die for Canada. Phillip:Yes, this bomb will blow us both to smithereens. But we really have no choice. Only our deaths can bring Canada life. [Fart] [Laughter] Terrance:That’s smelly. Phillip:Wait a minute, Terrance, that fart gives me pause. Terrance:Why is that? Phillip:That smelly Saddam Hussein, he uses germ