Tribute To Matt Stone Essay Research Paper — страница 2

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comedy, and if I… [Fart] [Laughter] Scott:Oh, I hate you both. I’ve hated you ever since I can remember. I hate you and I wish you both had cancer. [Laughter stops] Phillip:Cancer? Scott:Yes, in the head. Terrance:Head cancer? Scott:This is not the end Terrance and Phillip. You’ll rue this day. Terrance:Wow, Scott really hates us Phillip. Phillip:Yes, perhaps he’s homophobic. [Silence] Terrance:But we’re not gay, Phillip. Phillip:We’re not? Terrance:Well, let us board the subway and return home. There we can eat Kroff Dinner. Phillip:Yes, it’s been a long day, and only Kroff Dinner can calm my nerves. [Onboard the Subway] [Fart] [Laughter] Terrance:Say Phillip, why does Scott always try to convict me of murder. He does it every week. Phillip:He sure does seem to

hate us. I wonder what he’ll try next. Terrance:God only knows. Phillip:The subway certainly is wonderful Terrance. Terrance:It sure is. Let’s look for treasure. Phillip:Yes, let’s look for treasure. Terrance and Phillip begin looking about the subway car for ‘treasure.’ [Scott's House - 11:57 A.M.] [Phone ring] Scott:Hello. Saddam:Hello, is this Scott from Canada? Scott:Yes, yes it is. Saddam:You’re a journalist, right? Scott:Yes, I’m a television critic for magazines. Saddam:I understand that you hate Terrance and Phillip. Scott:Yes, yes I do. They think that farts are a sophisticated form of comedy, but they’re not. Saddam:Well, what if I were to help you get rid of them once and for all. Scott:Who is this? Saddam:Let’s just say that I’m someone who can

help you if you help me. The face of Saddam is finally revealed. Saddam:Just call me your old pal, Saddam Hussein. Scott:Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi dictator?!? Saddam:Hey, relax guy. I’m just your average Joe. Take a rest. Scott:What do you want? Saddam:You want Terrance and Phillip out of Canada; I want you to bring me and my friends into Canada. That sounds like a fair trade, doesn’t it? Super, let’s get started. Scott:I’m not sure I should trust you. Saddam:Hey, relax guy, trust me. [Commercial] [Outside Terrance and Phillips House] Terrance:Well, it’s too bad we didn’t find any treasure on the subway Phillip. Ugly Bob approaches. Phillip:Oh, hello Ugly Bob. Ugly Bob:Hello Terrance, hello Phillip. Terrance:My God, you’re looking hideously ugly today Ugly Bob. Ugly

Bob:How come you guys say stuff like that? Terrance:Because you’re God Damned ugly Bob. Ugly Bob:I know, but… Phillip:Ugly Bob, your face looks like somebody tried to put out forest fire with a screwdriver. Ugly Bob:I can’t help how I look. Besides, it’s not what’s on the outside that matters, it’s what’s on the inside. Terrance:No it isn’t. [Laughter] Terrance:Want to see what’s on the inside of me? [Fart] [Laughter] Phillip:Wait, wait. I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you put this paper bag over your head Ugly Bob? Terrance:Yes, if people can’t see your face, they won’t know how wretchedly ugly you are. Ugly Bob:Really? Hey, thanks you guys. Maybe now I can score with chicks. Terrance:Sure you can Ugly Bob. If they can’t see how horribly disfigured you

are, they’ll want to sleep with you. Ugly Bob:Thanks you guys. [Terrance and Phillips House - 12:20 P.M.] Phillip:Hello Barky, hello Purry. Barky:Bark Bark. Purry:Purr Purr. Phillip:Say, Terrance, I was just aboot to make some Kroff Dinner. Would you like some? Terrance:You know I never turn down Kroff Dinner Phillip. [Fart] [Laughter] Terrance:I’m going to put on a pirate costume. [Doorbell ring] Phillip answers the door. Delivery Man:Special delivery for Terrance. Phillip:I’ll take that. Delivery Man:Sign here and here and here and here and here. Phillip signs for the letter. Delivery Man:And here. Phillip:Oh Terrance, you got a letter. Terrance:Shiver me timbers Phillip, at this rate I’ll never get to my Kroff Dinner. Terrance reads the letter. Terrance:Oh my God!!!

Phillip:What is it Terrance? Did you fart? Terrance:No, it’s Sally, she’s being held captive in Iran. Phillip:Not Sally, dear God no Terrance, why Sally, God why? Say Terrance, who’s Sally? Terrance:My daughter. Phillip:I never knew you had a daughter Terrance. Terrance:Oh yes, didn’t I mention that me heartys? Phillip:No, you never did Terrance. Terrance:Oh, well, it all began fifteen years ago. [Terrance & Phillips House - 44 Hours Later....] Phillip:My God, what a fascinating story Terrance, especially the part aboot Celine Dion. Terrance:Yes, indeed. But now my little Sally is being held captive in Iran, and I will have to go and find her. Phillip:Then I will go with you Terrance. Terrance:You are such a good friend Phillip. Phillip:Well, you know what they say;