Through These Eyes Essay Research Paper Amy — страница 3

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My job will begin next Wednesday morning at 8:30 sharp. I?ve got to arrive early so that we can make sure everything is perfect before we open. Christopher would be amazed to see me. He always said, ?things have a way of working themselves out.? I am certain that he is smiling down on me from heaven right now. September 13 Dear Diary, I started my new job today. It was very exciting. Jane is a lovely lady. She is only sixty-two years old and a widow of seven years. Her husband died when he was fifty-seven years old from a heart attack. She was left all alone with two children, and the whole experience was quite devastating for them all. We shared a lot about the way we cope with the loss of our husbands. It was so nice to talk with someone who truly understands. Betty and many of

the other Bridge ladies are widows too, but we simply don?t discuss our emptiness with one another. Bridge night is a time to laugh and enjoy each other?s company. We don?t talk about death, but we are all very aware of its gripping reality. With Jane, however, it is quite different. We can speak openly to each other because there is only two of us. Plus, the media center is small and quiet, so we talk a lot while we work. My job is very interesting and there is so much to do, as the books are very disorganized. I see now why they needed me to come and work there. Pastor Johnson said that my gift of organization would be a real asset to the media center, and after what I?ve seen today, I am inclined to agree. October 1 Dear Diary, I went to the doctor today. My health is good

according to Doctor Martin. My knee is still giving me an awful time though. He prescribed some more pain reliever and suggested some strange sounding home remedies. Perhaps I will give them a try. He said that I have lost 34lbs since Christopher?s death. He informed me that this is very normal, that many widows lose weight. The holidays are just around the corner and I am trying to keep busy these days. Jane invited me to her house for Thanksgiving dinner. I am so grateful for my friendship with her. I have not given her an answer yet on whether or not I will attend. She thinks I am being silly about the whole thing. I just don?t know if I would be comfortable in a strange house during the holidays?or much company for that matter. She is sweet to offer just the same. The weather

is beautiful today. Christopher loved the fall. I miss him. October 22 Kathryn, from Bridge club, died last week. I attended the funeral with Betty. Although her health had been poor this past year, it was an unexpected death; she passed on in her sleep. Kathryn was seventy-six years old, same as me. The whole event of her death, the funeral parlor, smelling the fresh flowers, seeing the people mourn?all of it?it was simply more than I could handle! Much too soon I think. I couldn?t leave though because I had driven to the funeral parlor with Betty. God, it was so difficult for me. I felt the opening of Pandora?s box, and many of my old feelings from Christopher?s death began to resurface. But the strangest thing happened that day. I went outside to get some fresh air?to get away

from it all really. And while I was standing by the side entrance outside, I noticed a young mother with her child. The little boy could not have been much older than the age of two; he was so precious. The mother explained that her son was much too feisty for inside. ?Yes, I know the feeling,? I answered half jokingly. The mother then said something that I will never forget. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, ?Don?t worry, death is never the end.? And then her husband came out and they left. Her statement was not profound, it was not new information for me. But the way she said it?the way she looked right at me, it was as if God was talking directly to me through that young mother. The really strange thing was that my fear and anxiety subsided. It just went away. I was

able to go back into the funeral parlor, and for the first time, in a long time, I wasn?t overwhelmed. I am no longer afraid of dying. It?s as if I found a new freedom, a new peace. Dear Diary, it feels incredibly good to have peace. November 20 Dear Diary, I have decided to go to Jane?s house for Thanksgiving. In all honesty, there is a part of me that wants to stay home and be alone. It is so much easier to feel sorry for myself. Christopher always said that I was ?his fighter? though, strong-willed. Dear God, please give me inner strength this week. Inside, I want to cry, and I want to be alone. No, that?s not true?I want my husband back! I can do this though?I?ve gotta get through this. I am a fighter, and more importantly, I am fully alive. December 12 Dear Diary, I went