Three Types Of Speeches Essay Research Paper — страница 2
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managing dual career relationships, resisting violence and abuse between intimates, and negotiating safer sex. The one that I will break down is managing dual career relationships. Managing dual career relationships is balancing by both partners the demands and pressures of two careers with investment in the relationship itself. Managing dual careers in relationships can be hampered by pseudolistening. Pseudolistening is pretending to listen. It is when we appear to be attentive, but our minds are really somewhere else. This can be very unhealthy for the relationship because when we pretend to listen but think of other things, we can miss some of the things that the other partner is saying and not hear or do the things that they want us to. It can cause problems when they have had a bad day and just need someone to listen to them, then when they ask you what you think and you have no answer, you get in trouble. It is also bad that if they ask you to pick something up for you and you don’t hear that, then you get into trouble for not listening to them or paying attention to what they are saying. Another bad form of listening is monopolizing. Monopolizing is the hogging of the stage by continuously focusing the communication on ourselves instead of the person who is talking. It is the old trick to turn the conversation around. It is used like you think you have it bad, well listen to all of my problems. It can be bad for relationships because both partners will almost start to argue over who had the worst day. It is almost an immature way to fight. Instead of venting your “steam” for the day, you can build more up in an argument with your partner. The last bad form of listening I will talk about is defensive listening. I am guilty of this one. Defensive listening is the perceiving personal attacks, criticisms, or hostile undertones in communication where none is intended. It can be bad for the dual career relationship in that one partner might think that the other is getting after them to pull more “weight” around the house when really they are just asking a simple question like if they took the garbage out. I am guilty of that when asked if I am keeping my apartment clean or if I have my homework done. Now I would like to start to give solutions on how dual career partners can keep from using pseudolistening. This is a hard accomplishment. It takes the work of both of them to work this one out. This is very hard to do if one partner needs to talk and you are watching an interesting program on television. All you have to do is take five minutes and let them explain what is wrong and offer advise or even just a hug. It can be difficult but if you actually listen to them there is a good chance that they will then do something nice for you. I will now offer a way to help with the problem of monopolizing the conversation. Monopolizing of conversations can be worked out by setting back a time when you can go one at a time and talk about your day. You could do something like that at the supper table while eating. You could also practice this by both of the partners help make the meal and you could talk about the day that you had one at a time. The main thing to do here is to listen carefully to each other and try your best not to interrupt the other person who is talking. The last that I will offer advice on how to fix is defensive listening. Defensive listening is a bad think because you can upset the other partner if constantly take their comments the wrong way. This is a hard problem to fix overnight. It could take months of listening to everything that they have to say and then try not to take it in the wrong way. You almost have to put yourself in their shoes and try to look at the situation like they do. This is something that I struggle with every day. I can’t figure out why I do this but I do. Like I said you have to look out for yourself, and be careful how you respond to the situation at hand and try not to read anything negative into the comments. I am now finishing up this paper on listening problems of the dual career relationships. I went over the listening problems that can arise in a dual career relationship. They are pseudolistening, monopolizing, and defensive listening. Then I gave suggestions on how to get past the problems that those types of listening cause. Now that I am done I wish you a wonderful day and good luck in the future. Thank you.