Addiction

  • Просмотров 311
  • Скачиваний 13
  • Размер файла 14
    Кб

Addiction — Feeding The Need. Essay, Research Paper ADDICTION-FEEDING THE NEED It could not happen to me or my family. That s what everyone thinks. There are many different types of addictions and whether it be drug, alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, spending, food, or sex, they all have basically the same self-destructive tendencies. Drug addiction can go unnoticed at first. There are a few slight clues, but you just put them together. He comes home with his eyes open wide, dry mouth and there is a noticeable twitch in his hands. She had seen that twitch and those eyes before but dismisses it as his fatigue, since he had not been sleeping much lately. He is gone again but he will be back soon. When he does come back home she notices the smell of alcohol and there is that

twitch and dry mouth again. She decides that it is time to ask if his old habit has come back. He bolts out a firm No, are you crazy? Almost making her feel bad for asking. She did not want to insult him. She apologizes, although deep down she knows. She does not want to face it but the light comes on and there are more and more signs; more time spent in the back room (his sanctuary) and more nights of staying up all night. Then come the times when she has to call his work and tell his boss that he has the flu or something and cannot make it to work. She retreats into her own world. Trying desperately to keep the family together and at the same time trying not to let herself fall apart. Every day is like the movie Groundhog Day. She wakes up every morning at 5:45, gets ready for

school, gets her oldest kids up for school, her youngest ones ready for daycare, and her husband ready for work. Then she s off. She drops her kids of fat daycare and starts her forty-five minute drive to school. Sometimes, on the way, the music can t get loud enough to drown out the voices within. The voices that tell her that she shouldn t put up with what her husband puts her thorough and those are the same voices that tell her she doesn t deserve any better than she s got. Many women would love to have what she has. Her husband is a good man, he doesn t beat her, he is a good provider; she doesn t have to want for anything – material. She gets to school-salvation. Adult conversation abounds and yet adolescent mentality still rears it s ugly head. Just enough to add to the

voices and pressures already present. School s over and the forty-five minute mental conversation is once again in session. She picks up the kids and heads home. As soon as they get in the door the madness begins. The girls are screaming at each other, screaming at her. They are hungry, they are thirsty, they peed in their pants, or any other reason they deem necessary for a scream. She believes that sometimes they scream just to see how long it will take her to scream. By that time the two older kids are home. Of course they need her too. They need help with their homework, problems with school, transportation to a friends house or a school event, and of course, they too are hungry. Feed, read, change, calm, smoke, and reflect on what is yet to come. Meanwhile, the house is a

mess. The litter box is overflowing. Laundry is piled up to the ceiling, and dishes-oh, dishes. The sink is completely full, the counter is full, and sometimes even the stove is full. Now the husband is home. He is hungry. The dishes are all dirty so, she feeds her spending addiction by ordering take-out again. She continues feeding the needs of the family she loves so much. Longing to have her own needs fed. Her husband needs clothes and a towel because he is going to take a shower. She obediently gathers clothes for him. At the same time she wonders what it would be like to take a shower alone, with no interruptions. No kids in there peeking past the shower curtain. Or in the event that the door would happen to be locked, to not have anyone crying and beating the door down.